“I don’t get it. You said I was important to you but you still make me feel like I am not worth your time.”
These words hit a nerve. They hit me hard. They remind me of all that was lost in love. They remind me of a pattern I was in that I fought so hard to get out of. In this blog, I am going to get real and raw about how I overcame the type of partner I was attracting.
It all started when I was a little girl. My relationship with my father set the tone for the type of partner I would attract when I got into adolescents and adulthood. My father was a good man and did the best he could. We had a good relationship and did a lot of things together. Looking back he was more of a friend than a parent. I don’t remember him ever telling me that he loved me, he never hugged me, and never made me feel safe. My father had his demons - drinking and gambling. Drinking was a part of my adulthood until I healed my inner child wound. Now I drink socially and do not need to turn to alcohol to numb the pain. Now I face my pain with no issue. His gambling brought in very scary scenarios that I remember as a child so much that I never felt the urge to gamble.
I never really wanted to date when I was in high school. I had crushes but I would never be brave enough to say anything. By the time I was in high school, I had already believed the narrative I was told in elementary school, I was ugly and not good enough. Why would any boy want to date me when I had such negative outlook of myself?
It was not until I was out of high school, that I started to hear how beautiful I was. That peaked my confidence a bit but the damage had been done. The partners that I was attracting and were attracted to from age 20-40 were unemotionally available - just like my father. They could never commit to me, tell me the truth about how they felt about me, and just took from me while they gave me nothing in return.
I finally saw the pattern after having my heart shredded a couple of times but it was not until I met my twin flame that I understood what I needed to do to fix this. I also saw the opportunities I missed with men who were actually good for me. I don’t look back in regret. I look back as lesson learned. Take the lesson and wisdom from that lost experience with me to never repeat it again. Cycle closed!
I now fully understand what like attract likes means. I now know what type of partner I want to attract. The question that I have for myself now..is how can I attract this partner? Well the answer is this, I must become a vibrational match to this partner. In a sense I must become the partner that I am seeking. 🤯 Ephiphany…!!! That is what like attracts like means.
Now that I have embraced my new self and am working on becoming her more and more everyday, I find myself coming to terms with things from my past that resurfaced or that I was not ready to let go of.
The major thing I was holding on to was the energy of my twin flame connection. We never had proper closure and nothing was ever said. Now that we are no longer physically in each other’s lives, the memory remains. I was listening to this podcast the other day and got my answer on how to let this go once and for all. The lady who was being interviewed was saying how she used to write her grandfather letters and than would write his response to get the answers she was seeking. This helped her get closure. 🤯
That night I wrote my twin flame a letter explaining my truth about everything and how I was feeling now. I used my natural gift of psychic to channel his response. It was the same as mine. In that moment I felt a surge of calmness and happiness - that was my closure. It was empowering. I urge anyone to do this when they are ready to. It is not easy to say good-bye to the past but it can only be done when you are truly ready.
I am always here if you need guidance or clarity on a your life.
Many blessings to you, Christina Marie 🦋