In the last year, I have committed to healing and becoming the best version of myself. I am finally in a space where I can honestly I love where I am at and am content with the present moment. I no longer obsess over the past or freak out about my future. It took me a long time to get here but I am here. No regrets…no apologies. I am here & am glad to be here.
For those of you who have been following me for awhile, you know my spiritual journey began back 2018. Let me briefly recap for those who are new: I met my twin flame in 2018 & it changed my life forever. It was a hard journey back to myself but it was what I needed.
Now ….let’s fast forward to recap the last year. I started to receive the downloads (channeled messages) that the twin flame journey was something completely different. I was finally in the place where I could heal my wounds. I saw my healing as a never ending onion…peeling layer after layer. The reason I see healing as an onion is because as you peel off the top layers, the middle gets you crying. That is what healing is and why it is never done.
Once I got to the center of the onion, I was forced to face my deepest darkest fears that have been buried deep for years. It was then I needed to make the decision, do I keep peeling this onion or stay where I am at. I could not ignore the yearning that was burning inside of me for change. I sat in it and reflected on it. I decided to continue peeling the onion and that the reward would be worth it.
It was there I finally came face to face to my feelings. All of my feelings that I buried through the years from childhood through adulthood. This included my feelings for my twin flame. I asked my spirit team for a second chance at love. It was through this surrender of wanting a second chance I finally learned the truth. He was recently married! That never came through anytime myself or another reader pulled cards on him. Why was it hidden? The answer is simple: I was not ready to hear the answer of him moving on until I was ready. I realized that I had to let him go. I needed to free myself of the past.
I was always told on the twin flame journey to connect with him more in the 5D and let him come to me. It was only when I realized I no longer resonated with this bad advice that the pieces of my own journey started coming together. I started to not like the feeling of being in the 5D and felt being in the 3D better suited me. I was shifting from my masculine energy to my feminine energy. I needed to process all of my feelings.
In feeling everything that was coming up, I came to the realization that I fell out of love with my twin flame back in 2020. Whenever I tried to tune into the love, I could not feel it and thought I had detached. I felt it in the 5D but almost never in the 3D. Looking back what I thought I felt was love really wasn’t because I was trying to force a love that was not there anymore. All that was left was the energy of the past. I felt love for him in the 5D was so strong. So strong that I thought it would magically transfer over just as is in the 3D. The 5D love was our spiritual bond that would never die. The lesson I learned was this:
Going outside of your physical self to manifest will never work.
I realized that I missed so many opportunities to make things happen with my twin flame. I was never brave enough to take action. That was what I chose for my twin flame connection. I don’t put blame on myself or him for this. This was what I needed to learn to heal.
As a twin flame reader and coach, I can honestly say that I have never seen twin flames come into union. Union to me is a full blown relationship that has a long term commitment. The definition of twin flame union to me means union with one self. It was when you find union with yourself, you let go of the need to be with them. If you are meant to be with them in this lifetime, you will. If you are not, you will find someone else. The crazy thing is we all get the intuitive download that tells us if this person is coming back. It is up to each one of us to listen & accept or continue living a fantasy. I wish I had someone back in my early days of my twin flame journey telling me this. I realize now that I was not meant to learn that way. I had to see the good and the bad in the spiritual community. There were too many people who jumped on the twin flame bandwagon to make money off of the heartbroken, to keep them stuck, and believing false information. False information that I once believed until I saw the truth.
I am here to set the record straight. I am meant to help and teach people how to peel off their layers on their onion in a healthy way. I’ve been there. I know how hard it is but I also know what it feels like to be free of it. Everyone is intuitive…just not everyone uses their intuition. I get more satisfaction since someone I coach or read for blossom into their true self. I have been lucky enough to see 3 women blossom that I have coached and mentored.
Love should be easy and have no games. In the past I chose to believe love should be hard and thus it was. Now at 46 (turning 47 on 7/22) & in the present, I chose to believe love is easy and it will be. I learned what my relationship pattern is and what type of divine masculine I am calling in.
I don’t feel like I wasted my life. I feel like I am starting over. My heart wanted a second chance and I got it. I let him go, I said good-bye, and started working towards my next chapter. When I asked for that second chance again in love but told my spirit team I know my twin flame is not returning and I am ok with it. I want to find love where I will instantly know yes this is it.
Right after this I met someone. He seemed like the kind of guy I asked for at first but there were the red flags. A lot of the red flags were ones I would ignore in the past and would begin the chase game. This time I would not allow myself to chase or overthink. Anytime I would see him or talk to him I would feel confused. He was not asking me out. He was hinting at it but never pulling the trigger. He would talk to other women in front of me and mutual friends of ours would make comments of his player ways. It was through seeing it for what it was and not for what I was hoping it would become, I was able to make the decision he was not for me. Eventually he went into full ghost mode and am happy that I did not repeat the cycle I worked so hard to close. I had a friend point out that I met him in the same atmosphere where I met guys from my past: the bar. The bar was where I used to meet guys before I healed my addiction to drinking.
My second chance in love took me back to the beginning. I had a lot of things repeat but I handled them differently. I found my voice and learned how to stand up for myself. I became the change that I was seeking. I am seeing how things are aligning for me.
I am finally living my next chapter. All I needed to do was embrace the goddess within.