When 2024 began, I knew this year was going to be the year of change for me. I spent the entire year of 2023 working on myself and focusing on my healing. I discovered how multi-layered healing is. It is like an onion. As I peeled off each layer to get to my core, I shed a lot of tears and had a hard time letting go. I was basically peeling away the old me to uncover the new me. It was scary and very hard for me to let go of the old me. I was the old me for the first 45 years of my life. How do I let her go and fully embrace the version of myself that I have been envisioning for myself? I had so many attachments to people, places, thoughts, energy, behaviors, and patterns. How can I do this? I found it is a tedious process but can be done. In this blog, I discuss how peeling away the old me brought me back to the beginning.
You must be thinking, how can I go back to the beginning when I just peeled away the old. Well…honestly that is what it feels back. I feel like I have been pulled back into the beginning to experience it in a new & different way. I have always been a 5D person. As a child I detached from the 3D world to go into my fantasy world. This was my way of escaping and creating the perfect life. Anytime I had conflict in my 3D world it was off to my 5D fantasy world of perfection. In this 5D world of perfection I would create the perfect life with the outcomes I desired. I thought that was how you manifested and boy was I wrong.
I started to discover that when the outcome I created in the 5D would not manifest in the 3D - most times it would be the exact opposite - I would spiral. Not understanding why and putting blame on others. I was in my mid-20s when this started happening with love interests. I numbed the pain with alcohol and would over give to love interests who were emotionally unavailable & would take advantage of me. It would continue until I turned 40. I dated someone a few months before I turned 40. I was trying to force myself to have it work out but when I got honest with myself I realized he was not the one for me. I broke it off and needed time to be with myself.
After my 40th birthday, I had an epiphany with my love life. I was 40 and single. Never been married with no kids. In my family dynamic and society upbringing that would be a red flag of flaw. I don’t see it that way. I see it as I have not found someone that I wanted to marry and kids are not for me. Not everyone is meant to be a parent. I made the decision a few months after my 40th birthday not to date. I needed to enjoy being with my self and work on myself.
My twin flame decided to walk into my life 6 months later and that shook me to my core. This man had me feeling all of these things yet I was not ready to be open to this connection. I discovered that all of the twin flame information I was consuming was pushing me to look at my twin flame connection in the 5D & not the 3D.
I chose the 5D and not the 3D.
Right there ⬆️ says it all! I was trying to manifest something physically into my life from a 5D world of perfection. Now I understand why I would hear in the spiritual community to let go of the fantasy. Letting go of the fantasy means you come back down to earth and see things for what they truly are - not what you want them to be.
This was the eye opener I needed. I did not spiral and logically looked at what I was feeling. It was then I was able to let go of the old. I let go of everything and everyone - which included my twin flame. He has chosen to be with someone else and I hope this brings him so much happiness. I never chose him to begin with because my 3D self would not allow it so how can I be mad at him for finding love. I can’t and won’t because the love I have for him runs deeper than any love that I ever felt. I am free …I am me.
I am open to finding love and meeting new love interests because I know the one is out there for me. Spirit will align me to him when it is time. I have shifted my focus to my 3D world: embracing the new apartment I moved into, taking action into becoming debt free, and focusing on my career.
After I let everything go, I found out that at my day job we would be moving to a new location in early 2024. I have worked there for 18 years and this will be the second move since I have been there. The first move happened almost 10 years ago. We left our OG spot and went to the location we are moving out of. Now we are going back to a new location right down the street from the OG spot. How is that for coming back around full circle?
I think you can understand why I feel I have come back to the beginning. I asked spirit a long time ago for a second chance at life and they are giving it to me. New apartment, new working location, and a new life. You see how life comes together when you allow your layers of the old to peel away.
I am sitting in a temporary office space during the move that my company uses as a second space and am ready to manifest in the 3D that this be my permanent space. The energy here is so light and happy.
If I can go back to the beginning, so can you….🦋