What is the term relationship goals? Where does it stem from? What does it mean? Relationship goals simply means what it says. You want to be a long term relationship with a love counterpart and you set goals on how to achieve it. In this blog we will go over in detail, relationship goals and what blocks us from achieving the long term relationship with the “one.”
How you view relationships is based on your upbringing. How you were raised and the type of adult relationships that were around you as a child play a huge part in the relationship goals you set. In this blog, I will go over how upbringings/family dynamics play a key role in how you view love relationships and how you attract love partners. I will use my own personal experiences as examples to show you the blocks I experienced and how I overcame them with tips & guidance to help you on your soul journey of finding love.
I was born into a traditional Italian family where you are raised with traditional values. You go to school, then to college, then get married, and have babies. Sometimes you can have a career but it will depend on the family values are. Most old school Italian families believe the women should stay at home to take care of the house while the men work. All I heard as I was growing up was I’ll meet a man and get married. You know the typical happily ever after story. What I did not know at the time was the adults who told me that did not believe in happily ever after. In fact they had broken relationships that caused huge blocks in their own love lives.
I found as a teenager it was very hard for me to speak to the boys at school. I never felt like I fit in at school. Of course now that I look back, I realized that my psychic & intuitive abilities were forming. My parents divorced when I was 15 years old. It was a very difficult time for me. At 15 I was trying to find myself so it was very difficult for me to deal with the sudden changes divorce brings. I managed and survived. When I was in my early 20s, I started dating but found it very hard to trust. I would always attract emotionally unavailable men. It was not until I was in my late 30s that I realized there was a pattern I needed to break. It started with my parents’ divorce and it ended with the man I will call My Lesson.
I discovered that my pattern was attracting emotionally unavailable men with the in & out energy. It started with my relationship with my father. My father was a good man but he had a hard time expressing his feelings. We had a good relationship in regards to us spending time together especially after the divorce but he never said I love you or showed affection. My parents fought a lot (and quite loudly) when they were getting divorced so that affected me tremendously. My Lesson shattered my heart but he showed how to put my heart back together on my own. A few years later, I met my twin flame. When he mirrored the old energy of My Lesson, I set a boundary with my twin flame by choosing myself and walking away. I did not let history repeat itself because I had the knowledge from My Lesson.
I’ve been on the twin flame journey for 4 years now. It has helped me re-evaluate my relationship goals. I found my self worth, learned my value, and found self love. I now understand that like attracts like. In that understanding, I have aligned my vibration to match my thoughts of calling in a divine love partner who will match what I am looking for. Whether it is my twin flame or a soulmate, I am completely open to whomever the universe will send me because I trust it will be the man I am attracting with my self love vibes.
I found that working on myself by healing my inner child wounds and opening/balancing the heart chakra were the key to me finally being open & vulnerable to love - now that I am in my 40s. Not only did I break my love partner attraction pattern but I broke my family’s pattern of having to be married with children by a certain age. The best feeling was when I stopped letting “Why aren’t you married? What is wrong with you?” bother me. Anytime someone says that to me now, I say what is wrong with you for asking that question. I then ask them why marital status concerns them and probe them to look within themselves to find what is missing in their life. My actions and choices only affect me - not anyone else.
Now I would like for you to ask yourself what do you want in love, what type of partner you see yourself with, and what energy are you putting out into the universe. Write it all down. You may even find yourself going over a life review with the relationship with your parents/family and all love partners/interests you have had & may currently have. In doing this, I guarantee that you will see the pattern if you are open to it and will then get the clarity to work on healing & breaking the pattern.
Below are tips on how you can heal and break the pattern. These worked for my on my personal journey. They may work for you or you may find something that will work for you by reading below.
Self-Love | Self-Care | Self-Help Books: I read so many books to help me find peace and forgiveness. I found reading all of the Law of Attraction books Esther & Jerry Hicks, Louise Hay’s books, and Act Like A Lady, Think Like a Man by Steve Harvey were game changers. I read other books and still do to help me stay aligned to self healing.
Affirmations: In reading Louise Hay’s books, I found saying affirmations worked. The affirmation I Love Me was a game changer. Stand in front of a mirror and say it 5-10 times each day until you see the love reflect to yourself in your eyes. When I saw that in my eyes, I got chills.
Setting boundaries: I found setting boundaries and teaching people what I will and will not put up with sets the stage for how they should treat me.
Speaking and listening from the heart: Having empathy for others and not judging. Having conversations to talk and resolve conflict helped me bring love into every situation.
Being ok with being single: At 44 years old, I am still single and at peace with never being married or having children. I understand that everything that happened needed to happen to get me into this loving space I am in now.
Believing In Love: I believe that love is for me. I believe love will come to me when it’s time. When it’s right with the right person. I believe there is a person out there for me who will love me . I will never give up and will be patient with the process.
My relationship goal is very simple: a love partner who is my vibrational match will come in when he’s ready. I hold space for him and continue on my soul journey solo until that day.
What is your relationship goal? Let me know in the comments below.
I hope this blog helped you. If you would like to book a reading, a 1:1 session, or guidance session with me, please book in my Etsy Shop: https://www.etsy.com/shop/ButterflyIntuition
Have a beautiful day! Love & light Xtina